No Regrets

I do not begrudge the time given to being a caregiver to my mother in-law and then again for my mother.

Each time my husband and I totally reinvented our home and schedules. I left jobs that I enjoyed each time in order to stay home with them. We altered plans for vacations, for practical reasons as well as monetary since I was not working. Our children came to visit us to accommodate their grandmothers (and their parents), we seldom made the trip to visit them. Even a local visit would tire Grandma and she needed a day, or two, after to rest after traveling through traffic.

All worth it.

There are so many small things I would have done differently. I would have made more of her favorite foods. I would have made her laugh more. I would have painted the bedroom sooner. I would have driven her past the old home place more often.

I would not have changed any of the important things: time spent with her; meals shared; shopping adventures to find something she knew she needed but could not remember what it was; or, playing “charades” when she could not think of the word needed to finish her sentence. So many times my mom would say something to the effect of, “I am all out of that flat thing that I use every day. We need to get some today.” (It was butter.) We had so many laughs after our charades game.

I look back at the time spent with these two women and I am just now beginning to see the effects it had on me. I have changed, mostly for the good. I have learned to enjoy the moment I am in a bit more. I do find myself sitting and contemplating more and not always being in motion.

LESSON: Do not get lost in “caregiving” and not enjoy the time together. Soon the task will be over and all that will remain is your memories, make them sweet while you can.